MENTAL NOTE

"Though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run."
Blue, resist the urge to use facebook. You can do it. Good luck.
Cats and dogs can be friends. So can cowboys and indians. So can we.
Why try to be the best when there's no hierarchy in heaven?

Saturday, April 2, 2016

If You Were... a Collector

Why do collectors do what they do best? Why do they collect so much stuff you'd think Santa's their best friend? Escapism. That's why. I guess I'm sort of an expert. How about you? 


IF YOU WERE... A COLLECTOR

If you were a collector, what kind of collector would you be? 
Would you be... a bill collector???
YOU'D BETTER STAY AWAY FROM ME!
Oh that was a joke. You collect chocolate pie. 
Does your weight make you cry? Does it go sky high?
Wouldn't you collect a bit of Bora sand,
And Martinis as you take in that Bora land?
"Bottoms up, Wendy! Have some gin and Vermouth!" 
Or would you rather collect sweet horses like Rooth
Say, True, would you collect dreams and share them with us 
As you take flight, no need for a bus?
Wouldn't it be grand
To fly all the way to our Bora land?
Hello, Jules, what would you collect at your shore: 
Castles in France and a whole lot more, 
Like wine — the best! — some Earl Grey D'or
As you bathe your beauty in that purple galore?
Well, what do you know... He let them all go:
A milion flicks at his Kitty Cat show.
That can't be right!
Must've taken all night.
Did it make you wanna... cat fight?
You'd better collect benches
Like Betty (no trenches)
MEOW!

If you were a collector, would you be real proud,
Flaunting your stuff to a drooling ass crowd?
Would you collect brown noses like that idiot I knew?
(For I'd rather have pee and a bucket of poo.)
Would you collect sunrays and rainbows aplenty?
Would you stock up on knowledge like some vain cognoscenti?
The ones who claim heaven's for sale:
Ten hail Marys, no more bail...
Hey, you collect memories like EddieSherry and Linda.
Have your tales of the past always um... underpinned a
Wish to escape, fed this need to feel free?
Alex, would you collect two ways out just like me —
Like a true ninja in the place to be,
And no guitars for free?
Tell me, what kind of collector would you be:
Could it be you'd hoard miles at your AlleyCat sea?
Would your collection be impressive?
Would you share love or be kinda possessive?
Dezzz, did you know collectors are all weird,
Collecting comics and games and many a beard:
Santa's beard, Adam's beard, your pretty beard too,
As you try to get hold of my blue suede shoe
(A collector's item like that beer for the shower) —
Would your 'collectible' grow by the hour?

If you were a collector, would you love ramblings like Jax?
Would you take to a Bat like a Pickster to Max?
Say it ain't so, but when you gotta go, you gotta go!
Guess what Malcolm collects at his dino butt show...
I hear some of you crave a universe of food.
Would you collect recipes like Theresa Dear would?
(No, not Jaya J's bananas — they are up to no good.)
Would chocolate make you happy and amass a whole lot?
As you dip yourself in yogurt on your private little yacht,
M&M's forever melting on Dixie's naughty lips!
Collect, but don't you eat, Mary's hot casino chips.
How about a Manzi Bar (not a Zanzibar) or a Pop Tart collection?
Are Gary Butterfingers bound to evoke a reaction?
Do Crystal's books quench your thirst?
Tell me, Rosey, who'd come first:
A stack of Sheena-kays or a first edition Sandy?
Would Elsie's make you wonder why my nickname is Randy?
Read along, Candice, and collect ten degrees:
Will a PhD do while I munch on your cookies?
Cookies, boat trips... Lynda, what will it be?
"A Love Boat battle! Robin, could you do that for me?"
So there you have it folks, and unlike dear Bijoux,
Would you care to collect... many a Scooby Doo?

* * *

There's nothing wrong with this picture.

143 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Wow, I am the first to comment. I love this post and all those Scooby-Doo's and so many friends. Yes, Blue you know me I would be a collector of dreams, I would have a beautiful garden of dreams to share and nurture. My collection would not consume a lot of space unless you count the space in my mind and heart. It wouldn't be one that I could say hey, come see my collection. It would be one where I would share my inner most world. I would collect lost dreams from others and nurture them so that they might believe in their dreams again. My collection would be unique and all one of a kind pieces. Tell me Blue will we ever find the missing piece and fly to Bora Bora? Ah, to sleep, perchance to dream...

      Hugs my dear Blue from True to you!

      Delete
    2. I'm not sure if I'd like to collect my dreams, True. You know what I mean. Your collection would be something special. Perchance to dream...

      Delete
    3. Dragon dreams , yes most def...

      Delete
  2. What are you drinking there Blue? Can I have one too I like mine with an olive?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not sure what I'm drinking, but I do know why I'm drinking: too many Scooby Doos. One olive special coming up.

      Delete
    2. you shouldn't say that to him, Truedessa, he will literally up his bottom!

      Delete
    3. Not when there's a lady in the house. And True IS a lady.

      Delete
  3. haha look at you go
    With many in tow
    You'll need a mighty big box
    With enough scooby snacks to feed an ox
    The cat collects nothing at all anymore
    Pffft to that at my shore
    That takes dough
    And it is clutter on the go
    Sitting there and gathering dust
    In fun experiences I'd rather trust
    But I wouldn't mind collecting dough
    That you know
    Now I'll go collect my thoughts
    As the cat has lots

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, a mighty big box
      Not a fox on the rocks
      Or a chick on a stick
      Or a toad on the road

      Collecting dough would be fun
      Sure beats eating a gun
      No DVDs anymore
      At your score
      No grand encore
      On your floor?

      Delete
    2. Nothing wrong with collecting thoughts and just think they are free

      Delete
    3. I'm with True
      (And you know who)

      Delete
    4. Or a frog on a log
      Or a hog on a dog
      Or a log in a hog
      Or a dog in a frog

      Nothing at all
      At my hall
      Screw that
      Squashed collecting flat

      Delete
    5. Or some dough
      At your show
      And some more
      At your door

      Delete
    6. How much dough would you knead until you felt full? Would a loaf be enough to feed our needs?

      Delete
    7. Blah to dough
      That can go
      Stick it in the trash
      Gives me a bad rash
      Rather have money
      Cash, ca-ching, nothing funny lol

      Delete
    8. Money makes the world go round
      How does that sound?

      Delete
    9. I think these guys were on to something...

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLK9owh9Ysc

      Delete
    10. Or money blows it up
      With a greed ridden hiccup

      Agreed at my feed
      Money all I want indeed

      Delete
    11. Yes, they were. And so was he: CLICK!

      Hello Cat!

      Delete
    12. Hello Blue,

      I hadn't seen that one...

      money honey
      money honey

      Well, he had tons of money Blue
      but, he wasn't a very happy man...

      money can't buy love but, it can rent it...

      Delete
    13. I think I read he gave friends and band members a new Cadillac and he also had a host of charitable organizations that he supported. Maybe, he did that because he knew what it was like to be poor. It was his way of paying it forward.

      Delete
    14. Hey, renting it may be a perk
      Could walk away and not be a jerk lol

      Delete
    15. In the end he did it because he didn't love himself.

      Hello Cat!

      Delete
  4. Replies
    1. And just saw your comment at my blog. Too late, I've already commented here...

      Delete
    2. See, now I'll have to rewrite the whole darn thing. How many guitars are we talking, Alex?

      Delete
    3. Six and counting...
      Would be more, but I'm running out of room.

      Delete
    4. Well, I've added a line.... Six is a lot.

      Delete
    5. I think Alex needs one more guitar make it a lucky 7 one for each day of the week..

      Delete
    6. Seven guitars! You're right, I do need one for each day of the week.
      Blue, stop by today - got a surprise for you.

      Delete
    7. Truths and nonsense... I like it! ;)

      Delete
  5. I would collect My Little Pony
    But rather have my one and only.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I would collect people I think. I don't need to collect things, they really can't do much for me and certainly can't buy me happiness. I'd like to collect people and help them :)

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would like to collect time, but it's not going to happen, betty :)

      Delete
  7. I love the way you did that. Thanks for including me. :) I do actually collect a few things. At least I used to. When I was a teenager I collected stamps. Now I collect books. I have over 2000 of them.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hey now . . . I love Scooby Doo, I just don't want a roomful of him. I do have wine corks collecting in a decorative metal barrel on my bar.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A roomful might be a bit much. Do you drink the wine that came with the corks yourself or is that a stupid question? :D

      Delete
    2. I've been known to share ;)

      Delete
    3. I hear you. Now, where's my bottle...

      Delete
  9. Now that was marvellously impressive and exhaustingly long :) How long did it take to write?

    Wait, you collect Scooby Whos? Doos?

    I'd, of course, collect hunks, naturally, funny you did not guess it....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Three hours. And nobody's paying me either. Hunks... why doesn't that shock me one bit? Do keep the man boobs.

      Delete
    2. Took me an hour to translate a poem from a novel I'm doing. Imagine having to translate the meaning, the verses, the style and the rhymes as well. And for some reason I always have poems within all my novels.

      I shall keep the boobs and all other parts, I'm not discriminative, you know

      Delete
    3. Or you could add some girl boobs in the mix. You know, because I'm a feminist.

      Poems? YIKES! They're untranslatable.

      Delete
    4. not when me has to do them. Once even had a Shakespearean sonnet to translate: ancient language, verses, rhymes and plus a secret message hidden within the lines. Imagine translating that!

      Delete
    5. Dezzz, what does Theresa mean?

      Delete
    6. that she could never translate a Shaky Will's sonnet like Dezzy could, that is what she's thinking :)

      Delete
    7. I am thinking the work you two do daily is just exhausting to me. I have a hard enough time with Shaky Will as written, no way in hell I'd be able to translate even a smidgen.

      Delete
    8. it's exhausting me too, I haven't had a free weekend in more than a year.

      Delete
  10. Money. For 45 years I delusionally thought money didn't matter. Now I don't have any, and it matters a lot. I'd collect it, hoard it, and never worry again about being able to do without.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Money makes us happy. There. I said it.

      Delete
    2. Money makes us happy. There. I said it.

      Delete
    3. That line of thinking is why poor people hate rich people, Rosie. It only doesn't matter because they don't have to worry about it. The truth is that whatever we DON'T HAVE (AND WANT) matters an awful lot. Sometimes it's something tangible, while other times it's more like peace of mind. And maybe that's what you really want. Because not having enough money is what's not giving you peace of mind.

      Delete
    4. Yep, no dough sucks a ton
      Need it and damn those who go all on a "doesn't matter" run

      Delete
    5. Well, that about sums it up, too.

      Delete
    6. 'sums it up,' money... I get it, ha! :) ;)

      Delete
    7. Can I have a big sum
      And then some?

      Delete
    8. I know what you mean, Rosey. As a former white trash trailer park girl who grew up dirt poor, I've often thought money would be a nice thing to be able to hoard. When people try to say poor people are the happiest people, I want to call bullshit on their little speech. I've been there, and don't remember having a lot "woohoo, life it great!" moments.

      Delete
  11. A Love Boat Battle. That sounds like an awful lot of fun. I miss shows like the Love Boat and Fantasy Island. TV sure has changed a lot in twenty years (like everything else).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lynda loves cruises, Robin. I bet she loves the song too. I remember watching each episode like it was yesterday.

      Delete
  12. My book collection keeps growing and I'm loving it! Yes when I'm published I hope for people to have as many stacks of Sheena-kay's as possible. Cool way to acknowledge your online pals Blue. Respect.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Loyalty is important in my book. I know too many people would beg to differ.

      You can do it, Sheena-kay.

      Delete
  13. Love your poem! As for collecting things, I would collect gold. I know..I'm both greedy and naive. Still...I would have signs around saying I don't buy gold but I gladly accept donations.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know someone who started out with silver and now he collects gold. I tend to collect wishes...

      Delete
  14. I do, I do, I do love M&Ms.

    "M&M's forever melting on Dixie's naughty lips!"

    Thank you very much... thank you very much... that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me (sing along if you know the song).

    Of course I'm only naughty for you, Blue. (really, I promise!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll take your word for it, Dixie.

      Delete
    2. Dixie is awfully naughty with you, does Angelina know? :)

      Delete
    3. Of course. What's your point, Beardman?

      Delete
  15. Hi Blue!
    So....it is Scooby Doo...
    For you...
    I like what you chose for me....
    Nothing like a great memory...
    Especially for me...
    'Cause....
    I am old..as you can see!
    Enjoy your week Blue...
    Thanks for always stopping by....nice to see you...
    Cheers!
    Linda :o)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thanks for adding a Betty line to your poem :) That was very sweet of you to do!

    betty

    ReplyDelete
  17. I collect beer bottle caps, and that's not even a cutesy joke. It's also not for any manly reason, either. I put them all in big jars like this, and put them around the house. Since I always drink a huge variety of beer, they're like a colorful monument to my alcoholism.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How huge is huge? Just curious.... You can never have too many colorful monuments.

      Delete
  18. Replies
    1. I know. I'm just pulling your beard to see if Dez would notice.

      Delete
  19. Scoobydo Blue, How did you know it was me
    Who likes to collect miles under the sea?
    Swimming with the fishes, turtles & sharks
    Deep we go, but rarely narced
    It's peaceful it's quiet I feel quite free
    Collecting those miles under the sea!!!

    So. You collect Scoobs?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, I collect books but I say, "Scooby Doo!" more often than should be legal, especially when talking to some of our blogging friends.

      Yes, how did I know, right?

      Delete
    2. I used to have a lot of books! I don't have so much time to read them these day. I try not to collect too much stuff!!! I think the things I have the most of would be CD's but I'm going back to records!!!!

      Delete
    3. I still have my... 300 records :)

      I know. I'm a collector.

      Delete
  20. What a dear one you are and you make so many lonely identities have a deep feeling of belonging. You so graciously bring everyone together and people like that sense of unity. It's very comforting, kinda like a "get out of jail free" card that you might tuck under the edge of the board for safe keeping. Speaking of ...... my granddaughter said she and the BF were looking to buy a monopoly game and she was so disappointed she almost cried. The games are now all electronic. No money.

    Maybe I WOULD collect money because throughout the years, I've learned
    how much joy can come from money, depending on what we do with it. I discovered this as I saw a street person sitting out in the cold, playing a native american flute but every so often he would blow on his fingers and tuck them inside his jacket to find warmth. Capital Sports was in this little strip mall so I went inside and bought him a pair of fingerless hunting gloves with the little
    flap to also make them mittens.

    He was happy and hugged and thanked me but I was also the happy one.
    It was a tiny thing that gave me joy as I saw him every Saturday at his corner
    playing his flute and wearing the hunting gloves. Then I had moments of sadness and regret. I could do much more if I had collected money.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was very kind of you, Manzanita. Sometimes a bit of thoughtfulness is all it takes.

      Delete
  21. I do collect things. Many things. I'm not a hoarder. Each collection reflects personal interests, not just random accumulations.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I collect comic strips, not Scooby Doos, and many other things. I call it escapism. I need it. :)

      Delete
  22. Nice job on this post! There seem to be a lot of collectors at your bay. And yes, I am a collector of memories, as you say. They're the best kind of collections - they don't take up space or collect dust. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, lots of collectors. I wish I could collect dreams. I never remember them.

      Delete
  23. Aw! I don't know if I'll collect ten degrees, but by the time I'm through, I'll definitely have three. Oh, and I'm all out of cookies right now, but I do have some cupcakes left over from my niece's birthday party last night. They're chocolate with a raspberry jam drizzle. They turned out quite well, if I do say so myself. (And I do!)

    Fabulous poem, my friend. It's always fun to read through these.

    Oh, and just for the record...I collect books (it drives the husband crazy, but he's learned to deal with my ever-growing mounds of bookish fabulosity). And purses (also kind of drives the husband crazy, but he never understood a woman's close relationship with her purses). Oh! And hoodies. Soooo many hoodies! I can never have enough hoodies. In fact, I'm feeling the need to get some more hoodies right now!...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Candice. I know you will collect at least 3 degrees. You've been working hard for a long time now. I applaud you.

      I collect books like my life depended on it. I guess that makes two of us. :)

      Delete
  24. My Little Ponies. ONE DAY I shall have several glass fronted cabinets to display the glory of my collection. For now, they hibernate in 20+ shoe boxes under the bed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Those Little Ponies have something to look forward too!

      Delete
  25. I love how you tied in so many awesome bloggers. I'm a collector of ideas. Creative ideas. When I was little, Mom would come to me for birthday ideas for siblings. The only issue is that my mental shelves are to that point where they're overflowing.

    Crystal Collier

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't you just love overflowing book shelves?

      Delete
  26. Where is sister Theresa, have not she noticed she's mentioned? :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess not. She must be busy.

      Delete
    2. Sorry, boys! We're on spring break and I haven't been making the blog rounds like I normally do. Jason took some days off this week and my schedule has been thrown way off since last Friday. I'll be back to normal by Monday, hopefully :)

      Delete
    3. Blue, is she saying Jason throws her schedule off? Shouldn't it be - he throws me off my feet or something?

      Delete
    4. I'm sure he does that too, Dezzzmeister.

      Delete
    5. He totally messes up my schedule! I guess I feel if he is on break, I should be too. But, I finally put the finishing touches on my bathroom (done! yay!) He's like you two, always working even when he doesn't have to, and that means I get dragged into it too. No throwing me off my feet unless it's to lift me onto the truck bed to shovel mulch into the yard. Pft!

      Delete
    6. No throwing you off your feet unless it's to lift you onto the truck bed to shovel mulch into the yard?

      Say it ain't so.

      Delete
    7. but that is just so that they can grow a bed of roses in the yard so that he could sweep her off her feet in the fragrant shrubs :)

      Delete
  27. Would you collect sunrays
    and rainbows aplenty?
    Splashes of colors sway
    Where-from plain to see?

    Would rather dream away
    Like wonderful Truedessa
    or lurk around Pat's hideway
    to meet head-on with sweet Suza

    Yes, lurking and piling up
    Slyly while snoring happily Blue
    Only then Hank becomes part
    Of the early morning crew

    Apologies Blue for being very late
    Sometimes Hank's saddened trait

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Hank!
      The one and only Poetry Tank.

      Dreaming away sounds great. Minor problem 8n my case... I never remember my dreams.

      Delete
  28. Memories. I would collect memories. I don't find joy in collecting material things, but creating memories for my friends and family is something that brings me a lot of joy. When I'm old and dying, it's lots of memories of a life well lived that I want to take to my grave.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. pffft like she will ever be old....

      Delete
    2. I collect memories like my life depended on them, which in a way is true.

      No, Dezzz... She will always stay stay. You, on the other hand,...

      Delete
    3. me was born old as Methuselah

      Delete
    4. Theresa, did Blue just call me 'baby'? Doesn't he know I will be 30-andwhocareshowmanyyearsmore next week?

      Delete
    5. That's because you have such a charming little baby face Dezzy-poo! And stop calling yourself old because you insult me every time you do it! ;)

      Delete
    6. Dez, don't you insult Theresa, you hear or it's no more man boobs on your birthday. No, I'm not kidding.

      Delete
    7. Theresa, is Blue saying he ain't getting me any manboobs for me birthday? Why, oh, why?

      Delete
    8. Don't cry. I'll send you some girl boobs instead. :D

      Delete
  29. Hi, just dropped by from Alex's blog. Love the poem. I can see a lot of creative work went into it. What would I collect? Besides money ... Hmm I think If I had to be a collecter I would collect secrets. Yes, secrets obtained and leaned about big wig powerful politicians and really big secrets that they would do anything to keep the world from discovering. Yup, that's what I would collect, but only if I had to be a collector.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good morning Melissa. Thanks for stopping by.

      You'd collect secrets... Wouldn't that be fun.

      Delete
  30. Castle's In France are really quite fine,
    Especially when accompanied with local French wine,
    And a cellar in my fort with a vineyard collection,
    would be the envy of any connoisseurs collection.
    But trinkets and things aren't the answer, I find,
    And I'm more moved by the dreams in my heart and my mind:
    A chance meeting, a sunset or a mountain view,
    Adventures, soft winds and an ocean of blue.
    Memories and moments that touch your soul,
    That's got to be the ultimate goal;
    To be part of a magic like hand in a glove,
    To share the simplicity of beauty and love.

    ReplyDelete
  31. With a vineyard selection* how remiss of me to write it out wrong. Shame on me.

    ReplyDelete
  32. And it sounds like someone has collected quite a following of bloggers from around the world - a collection to be envied :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Loyal visitors and blogging buddies aplenty. That includes you, Rooth.And guess what... I don't do FB.

      Delete

Speak your mind.