MENTAL NOTE

"Though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run."
Blue, resist the urge to use facebook. You can do it. Good luck.
Cats and dogs can be friends. So can cowboys and indians. So can we.
Why try to be the best when there's no hierarchy in heaven?

Sunday, March 15, 2015

If You Were... a Fruit

If you were a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be? 
Would they like the way you look and nab you from a tree? 
Would you be Brazilian, Greek, Icelandic, maybe French, 
Or born in the USA, you say, or a fruity Finnish wench? 
I hear you'd be untraceable in the big ole Amazon green, 
And how you'd be the most exceptional fruit as yet to be seen 
They say you're growing peacefully somewhere in the tropical sun, 
A sacchariferous miracle that can weigh a metric tonne 
Would finding you today mean traveling round the globe? 
Do we get to nibble on you like you were a lover's lobe? 
Would you sting or be a frigging um... forbidden fruit? 
Would eating you (aha!) mean taking off my suit? 
Would you spark off hot romance to the power of twenty-two? 
Would you be a passion fruit and I'd drool all over you? 
Well, maybe you would rather be a bit less sweet n' sour 
Would you ripen in fifteen hundred days or maybe just an hour? 
They say you'd be a stiff banana, big and proud and free 
Of charge, of course, for those who want another piece of thee 
Hey, would you smell real good in your fruity neighborhood, 
Would your furry, flavored, pulpy flesh be the epitome of food? 
A strawberry, a blueberry, a catberry, a what? 
A cranberry, a Bora fruit, a single one, a lot? 

Or would you cure my pain
And erase the figments of reality inside my potty brain? 
Would you make me see again like normal people do 
So I could stop confabulating about a certain kangaroo shoe
Would you be a medicine and I would call your bluff? 
Would a single one of you be just about enough? 
Tell me... 
One, two, three... 
What kind of fruit would you be?

* * *

144 comments:

  1. Catberries are worth more than that.
    Not sure I want to be fruity, but let's go with banana. For obvious reasons...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You may have a point there. Because they're um... "special" you mean?

      Delete
    2. How rude indeed
      Cheap to seed

      Delete
    3. How much could I rake in
      Selling catberries at my bin?

      Delete
    4. A loonie or three
      May come to thee

      Delete
    5. Better make it four
      So I make some more
      One buck a pop
      Can't be a flop

      Delete
    6. Getting greedy now
      Do they meow?

      Delete
    7. You need to bite them first
      Then you'll be cursed
      Before you can quench that thirst
      Eat too many and you will burst
      Meow!

      Delete
    8. Some may find the rude
      Sure I won't get sued?

      Delete
  2. I eat blueberries every morning...
    I'd be an apple--a little crunchy, but sweet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ms Bollywood Princess puts bluberries in my smoothies. An apple... red, green or yellow?

      Delete
    2. at least she doesn't put Blue'sberries into the smoothie. Blue, so you're safe I reckon...

      Delete
    3. HAHAHAHA! Good one. I nearly fell off my chair.

      Delete
    4. hope ya didn't squash the blue'sberries :)

      Delete
    5. Well, my voice is a bit high today.

      Delete
  3. Oh! A berry funny little gig ~
    Do you give a fock about a fig?
    Might you climb my tasty bough
    Nibble me, release a - wow!?!

    Or just with-out your reach,
    Might I be a juicy peach?
    Would you be my berry fool
    When my fuzzy makes you drool?

    Ha'cha
    Got cha!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haaaaaaa! How deliciously naughty, my little berry. Is the drool apparent?

      Delete
    2. Hi Dixie.....you naughty thing!

      Delete
    3. Dixie is such a trixie, Blue, and a Pixie too :)

      Delete
    4. She likes my Santa outfit. That's all I'm gonna say about it.

      Delete
    5. ~and your speedo is so neato, bandito :)

      Delete
    6. Well, Santa. Today I'm a plum, 'cause I'm plum tired. Lots of mulching in the yard... heave ho!

      Delete
    7. Watch me strut down the streeto!

      Heave ho at your show
      Say it ain't so

      Delete
  4. I'm a pomegranate... because people think I'm a mystery and that it's hard to figure out what's going on inside my head, but all you have to do is beat it with a wooden spoon until I spill everything.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I see. Anuthing else you'd like to share with us? I mean, just go ahead and bare your um... head. :p Wait, maybe you shouldn't.

      Delete
    2. Joke's on you! I bare my head in public every single day. And the police refuse to do a thing about it!

      Delete
    3. That's because... they're impressed?

      Delete
  5. I'd be a prickly pear. Thorny on the outside. Sweet and succulent on the inside. Best handled with care :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A prickly pear... I see. Sweet and succulent on the inside... Well, you had me at prickly....

      Will handle with care. Aren't you sweet?

      Delete
  6. Am not a fruit enough already? :) I'd be a banana of course... no surprise there...
    And thanks for making me the cheapest... always the slutty cheap one :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A banana.... Is that a fact? I see...

      I knew you'd say that. Being the cheapest one and all. But don't misunderstand the hidden point, Dezzy... The heavier, the more expensive... so basically my drawing is a compliment.

      Yeah, that's right...

      Delete
    2. I don't mind it... it's close to the truth :)

      Delete
  7. I'm worth a loonie
    In that there cartoonie
    Damn, I'm cheap
    At least when melons creep
    I'd like to feel those
    Whose? who knows
    As long as they are in season
    Otherwise I don't need a reason
    My catberry may get slapped
    I could go to jail and feel trapped
    So I may stick with looking
    So I don't end up in booking
    How about that
    I'm still a cat
    And no fruit for Pat
    He can't, really, eat that
    If he does he is screwed
    His back will get rude
    So feeling the rights ones
    And looking tons
    Is all he can do
    Here at our zoo
    And I suppose that is wise
    As rotten fruit brings flies
    Plus you said you'd drool
    That is so not cool
    The cat doesn't need cooties from you
    I might turn blue
    They already have a blue dog
    So no blue cats in the fog
    Now as for the fruit
    On that one I'll remain mute

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's right, you're worth a loonie
      A catberry a day, no need for a spoonie
      You're cheap but that's a buck a pop
      Then they bite you and they can't stop
      Want to buy some more
      They come knocking on my door
      "I need a catberry right now!"
      Up goes the price and they're a junky cow
      I don't know what that is, but they'll be hooked
      You're the most famous berry ever booked
      So that's the game plan
      Yes, I can
      No fruit for Pat - say it ain't so
      At the blue guy loonie show
      A rude back isn't fun
      The same goes for a rude bun
      Did I say I'd drool?
      Still beats a pound of um.... school
      No cooties
      No booties
      No blue dog too
      No blue cat shoe
      No boo hoo hoo
      What is Pat gonna do?

      Delete
    2. Lots of no's
      But sometimes that's how it goes
      The back is rude
      The nerves in it have attitude
      Same with the leg as well
      They cause me hell
      But at lest I'm not a junky cow
      That would raise an eyebrow
      And making all addicted is grand
      Then I'll be rich across the land

      Delete
    3. That can't be good
      In your neighborhood
      Hell makes me yell
      You can tell
      The leg as well?
      Ring the bell
      And sell some more
      At your Kitty Cat shore
      To ease the pain
      Quite or you'll go insane
      9 to 5 is such a trap
      You need a buck and no more um.. yap?

      Delete
    4. A buck or more
      Needed at my shore
      To get rid of the crap
      And have a good winter's nap
      But then spring has sprung
      New job has sung
      Sucks in the end
      But an ever growing trend

      Delete
    5. Writing two books a week
      You've got to be loaded as we speak
      Raking in a wee bit more
      At your Kitty Cat shore
      Turn that into a trend
      Then buy Bora in the end
      Invite a blue friend
      On the mend

      Delete
    6. invite a true friend
      I'll be there until the end

      Delete
    7. Let's toast
      From coast to coast

      Delete
    8. haha yeah right
      Couldn't even pay half the flight
      Plus the cats and Pat
      Have been there done that
      Bora babes and skinny dipping
      We have no need for another umm tripping
      Unless we can get rich and buy the place
      That could be great if it were the case
      Hawaii is a safer bet though
      But the cat is illegal there don't you know
      Have to smuggle me in
      Can't let those Hawaiians win
      Until then we stay here
      With winter I fear
      But oh friggin well
      Ring the 9-5 bell
      Live away
      At our bay
      Slave for pay
      Come what may

      Delete
    9. ha - I knew the cat and Pat went to bora bay
      off to play with those bora babes all day...

      Delete
  8. Hi Blue....
    Lots of berries over here...
    Strawberries and blackberries are near....
    I would def be an apple...so versatile....so juicy....so crispy....
    Bake me in a pie....cook me in a crisp....
    Slice me up.....
    And you know Blue...
    An apple a day....
    Keeps the Dr away....
    I rest my case....
    Leave Dezzie alone....he is a sweetheart♥️
    Cheers!
    Linda :o)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Linda! How are you? Oh I love those berries.... I love them all... the whole lot.... So you'd be an apple? Would that be a phone? I hope not. I'm told they're crisp, though. An Apple a day, and your money goes away... Oh you mean a real fruit.... I see.... Well, I bet you'd be the apple no Adam can resist ;)

      Dezzberries are something special. He's a sweetheart? Dezzy the Dazzling Dezzzzmeister? That fruit?

      Delete
    2. Well hello Linda . . . . fancy seeing you here . . .
      Do you like raspberries? . . . I have some below for you . . lol

      Hello Blue . . . :)

      Delete
    3. Hi Blue...

      Hi Dezzie...

      Hi Eddie...am I your #10???

      Delete
    4. #10? Not number one? Shhhhhhhhocking!

      Delete
    5. Ooooooops....
      Drop dead ten.....is what I meant!
      That is what Ed made ref to.....right?

      Delete
    6. I'm digging a big hole for myself here .. . .
      No 1 Linda. of course . . and a drop dead 10 to boot . . . lol
      oops . . . . just seen your comment Linda . . . .lol

      Delete
    7. Haha I'm just teasing the two of you. Nevertheless, the buzz word is... oops.

      Delete
  9. Are you compiling a series of these "If you were a..." poems for a book? And why does it have to be a fruit? What do you have against vegetables and brined vegetables at that? This is vegist! You're a vegist!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You called it.... poetry. I'm touched. I'm happy. A happy blue who HATES veggies! I hate them I hate them! No, I don't. I love them I love them! A vegist fruitcake... Who?

      Delete
  10. I'd be a dragonfruit because nobody has heard of me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll look you up. Then I'll know everything I need to know.

      Delete
  11. I've been called a dingleberry. Is that a real fruit? If so, I guess I'm a dingleberry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. at least you'd make a good marmalade :) Me as a banana not so much :)

      Delete
    2. You're real so dingleberries must be real. Ant particular color?

      Delete
    3. Can I be like Skittles and be all of them? You know, Taste the Rainbow and all that jazz?

      Delete
  12. I'd be a durian,
    That'll keep you hurryin'!
    Smells like death
    So hold your breath;
    But your face you'll be palmin' --
    It tastes like almond!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Smell From Hell... Say it ain't so
      At the Blue guy's fruity show
      Almond... I had no idea
      But that smell.... oh dear.....

      Delete
  13. I'd be a fruit cocktail! In a beautiful, crystal knickerbockerglory glass. Oh Yes! I'd be a taste sensation from the dull and sour to the sweetest of them all. A myriad of moist delicacy. And...I'd be smothered, THAT'S RIGHT-I SAID SMOTHERED, in pouring cream.
    Get your spoon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm drooling... and I need a cold shower.

      Delete
    2. salivate your way to salvation. ;)

      Delete
  14. I eat so much frozen mango straight out of the bag I'm going to turn into one pretty soon.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hot tip of the day from the Queen of Olay
    Celebrate with me on the first of May
    Eat raw papaya seeds with a little honey
    To cure your worms will save you money
    Thus spoke the truth from Betty Boop
    My enchanting fruit is randy fruitloop

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Will do on the very first of May
      Guess where.... yep, at my bay
      There's more honey in our house
      Then cheese for a mouse
      A honey rainbow at my show
      Randy is my name...
      How did you know?

      Delete
    2. Well, it sure is. You can can me blue Randy or randy Blue. ;)

      Delete
  16. I'd be a banana eating pair of honeydews.

    This is really good and fun. You could make a children's book out of it. And thanks for visiting. I think the days of my vying for first at Pat's are over, but I might have another upcoming overnights shift or two...be warned. Smiles.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Excellent choice. Just steer clear of Dezmond. He told me he'd be a banana. Just saying...

      A children's book... Well, some of my "If you were..." scribblings are a bit naughty... I have been having trouble with my laptop so I won't be number one for quite a while. Thanks for the warning.

      Delete
  17. I think I'd be a kiwi. Life has been pretty tough and I've developed this tough outer layer. But, if you are stalwart enough to keep on peeling, eventually you get to the good stuff.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hear ya and it makes perfect sense to me.

      Delete
  18. I would be a cherry. I'm bright and cheerful on the outside and a hard nut on the inside.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I think I'd have to choose to be
    A raspberry, if they're known to thee.
    Not blue but red and so nutritious
    And taste so sinfully delicious.
    But if you ever think to bite me
    I'll really be forced to fight thee
    For I am destined for a lady
    A drop dead ten and very shady
    She would eat me with ice cream
    To keep her cool so it would seem.
    You need to find a nice blue berry
    Someone nice and tasty . . . very . . . . lol

    Fun topic and like all the answers . . . lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Known they sure are
      And never in a jar
      Not blue... say it ain't so
      At your Bluelights show
      Sinful AND delicious oh my
      The girls must love you, all high
      A drop dead ten you say
      At your Eddie Bluelights bay?
      Well, I like the sound of that
      Beats eating a bat ;)

      Delete
  20. Just in case you said, "Who is it?
    I wonder which blog has come to visit
    I am sending it once more
    With correct blog link ~ a cyber door!


    I think I'd have to choose to be
    A raspberry, if they're known to thee.
    Not blue but red and so nutritious
    And taste so sinfully delicious.
    But if you ever think to bite me
    I'll really be forced to fight thee
    For I am destined for a lady
    A drop dead ten and very shady
    She would eat me with ice cream
    To keep her cool so it would seem.
    You need to find a nice blue berry
    Someone nice and tasty . . . very . . . . lol

    Fun topic and like all the answers . . . lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who was that?
      Was it Eddie Bluelights on my mat?
      Known they are
      Never in a jar
      Not blue... say it ain't so
      At your Bluelights show
      Sinful AND delicious oh my
      The girls must love you, all high
      A drop dead ten you say
      At your Eddie Bluelights bay?
      Well, I like the sound of that
      Beats eating a bat ;)

      Delete
  21. I'll rather be a fruit gum
    which I can take in lumps
    I have a choice of all kinds
    Array available suits me fine
    I can have it in my pocket
    Conveniently in a jiffy I can get
    Fruits of all seasons
    Fruits of all regions
    When my mouth waters
    I'll open the box and gathers
    Friends can taste their favorites
    Their choices are not restricted
    Isn't it fun for everyone
    Yes, I'll rather be a fruit gum!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hank the fruit gum
      Very smart, never dumb
      Choice aplenty in your cave
      Fruit gum aplenty to crave
      The ideal pocket fruit you say
      An infinite range of flavors every day

      Delete
  22. I would, of course, have to be a catberry:)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Dear Blue,

    What type of fruit would I be?

    Perhaps, a purple passion fruit
    a beautiful flower in bloom
    producing a hard/soft shell
    filled with a juicy interior
    and numerous seeds
    I could be eaten as a fruit
    or juiced to be sipped with pleasure
    the taste lingering on moist lips

    Or perhaps, a starfruit grown on bora bora
    exotic filled with vitamin C and full of antioxidants
    and flavonoids...great to eat fresh or cooked
    to bring out the succulent juices...
    a starry-eyed wonder in a vast universe...
    giving others a place for wishes to land

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PS: Would I spark off hot romance at the power of twenty-two
      hmm..well I am passionate and full of raw emotions..

      Delete
    2. Truedessa Dear, you'd be a passion fruit no earthling could resist. A starfruit.... good one... Never had one of those, but then again I still need to find my way to Bora. Antioxidants... my all-time favorite word. I'm sort of an expert, you know.

      You'd spark off hot romance at the power of twenty-four, maybe even more.

      Delete
    3. Live alone in a paradise
      That makes me think of two

      Delete
    4. Bora is just a dream away
      you are so kind to me blue
      that much I know is true...

      Delete
    5. I'm a mirror, is all
      I call when you call

      Delete
    6. I call when you call
      I fall when you fall...
      tell me mirror you hold secrets to the eyes of all...

      Blue, I've been so sick..I'm feeling it today..

      Delete
  24. A Raspberry. In my niece's words, because they are yum.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I suddenly have a craving for a chocolate covered banana! What a wonderful fruit salad of a poem! Great job, Blue!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. That's so nice of you to say that, Julie.

      Delete
  26. I did one of those Buzz Feed quizzes on what fruit you are. I got Strawberry :) But I think I'm more a cherry with the scent of passion fruit ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Jaya J. A cherry with the scent of passion fruit.... I like that. Excellent choice. So good to hear from you again.

      Delete
  27. Jamaican Apple. Red, soft and sweet. But don't mishandle me, I bruise easy. Hey Blue, I would eat you gently.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You would? Now, why does that make me blush and feel alive?

      Delete
  28. Frozen Fruit...because it lives longer. Fresh fruit is delicious but has a very short life expectancy. :) :) :)

    ReplyDelete
  29. Hahaha how cute is this!!!! Id pick a blueberry over a catberry or dezberry (no offense) any day. ;)

    I'd be a mango because they are delicious!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll tell Pat and Dezzy. No offense. A mango... how delicious!

      Delete
    2. Pffft I wouldn't let her pick one anyway
      She'd sneeze all over it at her bay

      Delete
    3. She would? And how come you know this?

      Delete
    4. She is allergic to cats
      Maybe even sewer rats

      Delete
    5. Allergic to you
      Boo hoo hoo
      Now whatcha gonna do
      At your shoe?

      Delete
    6. Whack her with it
      Maybe when it's filled with umm spit

      Delete
    7. No way
      Not at my bay
      She's a double fox
      Why don't you sniff um... socks

      Delete
    8. She's a double fox?
      Not sure double works at her docks
      She could fit in a box
      So a tiny fox

      Delete
  30. Just stopped by to say 'hey' and have a good evening.
    Hope your neighbors stay quiet so you can get a good night's sleep.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's so sweet of you. Have a great weekend, Sandra. As for my neighbors... let's knock on wood. No, not that kinda wood ;)

      Delete
    2. Blue, why didn't Sandra stop by my place too to say hey? Is she plotting against the spy? Send a team and investigate and report on Monday!

      Delete
    3. Because I'm the Blue guy. Why else?

      Delete
  31. Pomegranates are my spirit fruit. They don't give their essence up easy (do you know how time-consuming it is to get those edible seeds out?) but once you've jumped through the hoops to access their essence, your reward is nourishing, rich, rare, worth the trouble.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You had me at spirit fruit. I'm impressed and hungry.

      Delete
  32. Hope your weekend has been amazing, Blue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It sure has, Sandra. How are you today?

      Delete
  33. I'd be an orange--all hidden behind that peel!

    ReplyDelete
  34. I'm Fructose intolerant, seriously it gives me gas and the runs...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He's back! Well, how are you doing, David?

      Delete
    2. Great now that I've had my daily dose of Blue Fruit....
      *runs to bathroom*

      Delete
  35. I like to be a plum or a star apple ~ Nice to meet you Blue ~ Gosh, so many comments at your bay, smiles ~ See you around the blogosphere ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, hello Grace. I feel honored to finally meet you. Let me guess.... the Cat triggered the idea of stopping by...

      See you around the blogosphere. You betcha.

      Delete
  36. Hello, my friend across the sea.

    How have u been feeling? Well, I hope.

    I should like to be a sweet little red cherry. Red is such a wonderful color. Blue is actually my favorite color but I try to make all my drinks red with red syrup (cherry, raspberry, whatnot) because I love a red looking lemonade drink. That is what I fix myself at the Coffeeshop.

    Just taking one step at a time. Enjoying the moon at night when I can see it. Enjoying my walks with the Professor. Planning another trip to Savannah, Georgia. Looking at cottages as the Professor travels with me and I like him to be safe when I go out and about. I have found a travel companion. So it will be nice to travel with someone. We are just friends. Started spending time together four months ago. And he has been commenting for two years now he'd like to travel with me. And truthfully, that has what I have wanted someone to travel with around the world.

    Lots of sadness in the world as of late. Plane crashes that appear to be intentional. Suicide/homicide domestic violence. Fires that kills children. Suicide seems to be an epidemic nowadays. One that leaves one not understanding and questioning. Those left behind suffer tremendously and look for a new normal way of living life.

    I am not depressed. Nor morbid. Just in the thinking and feeling stages of life.

    I got so extremely angry at someone yesterday. I did nothing about it. No lashing out. I decided he has not been a very good friend to me. And I must let go. Just not do anything anymore in regards to him. There comes a time when u just realize u just have to walk away.

    The good news is that I took this angry I felt for him and spend time after work helping someone else with his dream. Refurbishing an older home for future needs in Memphis. Domestic violence, etc. He asked me if I wanted to talk about the man that upset me. I said no. No. I don't. In fact, I would like to forget that I ever came across him. And this time, I think I can just let it be.

    Have a blessed weekend. I hope ur health has been well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A sweet little red cherry... Sounds like a plan to me. Hey, a travel companion... That's great. Plus the Professor to keep you company. Does life get any better?

      You have to let somebody go... You've used those exact words before, you know. I know what that's like. I had to let go of two cousins. They attended my wedding in 2012 but were offended I hadn't invited their mother, my mother's enemy. I had explained my choice to them... No response. So I didn't see them for, what, two years. That's when I let them go.

      Yeah, I heard about that plane crash and that it was intentional. Take a pill, don't kill everyone else too. I don't get that, which is good or I'd need some serious help. Poor people. And for what?

      I'm doing okay. Not great. My health will always be a problem. I feel so much older than I am.

      Delete
  37. I'll like to be a mango : delicious and smell wonderful:))
    Besos

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There you are! I've been waiting all week. :)) Mango... excellent choice.

      Delete

Speak your mind.