MENTAL NOTE

"Though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run."
Blue, resist the urge to use facebook. You can do it. Good luck.
Cats and dogs can be friends. So can cowboys and indians. So can we.
Why try to be the best when there's no hierarchy in heaven?

Saturday, February 7, 2015

I Mean Business... Mongo Couldn't Care Less

So I've been thinking. How come I need to work my firm n' shiny ass off while Mongo, my mini-panther wannabee and Batman impersonator slash embodiment of laziness can just spend his days guarding my beloved couch while a happy ray of sunshine warms him up for yet another day at Hotel Blue? Does that sound like a fair deal to you?

This is him, the couch potato. He is positively the laziest cat in history. He has turned snoaring into an art form, and you know what they say about a pet and his human friend...

There comes a point when the two start to look alike. Or so they say. Now, I don't know about you and your pet, but I don't look like The Snore Master one bit. For one, I'm a beauty. I can hammer in style and with the utmost grace while he is just a beast. A snoaring beast. Just look at him and shiver. Doesn't he look scary?
His ears are so big I bet if he tried real hard he could sail across the ocean and never even need a boat. And when it comes to snoaring, we don't look like a bunch of twins. I mean, I'm a mere amateur, he's a pro. Plus... he's got a belly the size of Canada and I don't. We have nothing in common. Hey, we both love me, but that's it.
Some of you have been complaining about my lack of interest in you. "Blue, how come you never visit me?!" Or: "I thought you loved me." Or: "Are you on Bora with Eva Longoria?" I wish. That would be Pat in the Hatt or The Green Pickster looking Strangely Naked when the missus is looking the other way. Heck, I don't even remember my dreams. I bet Mongo does. I don't even have time to dream or visit you all. I've got work to do. I've got responsibilities. I've got, you know, important things to do. Wait. Don't we all have important things to do? Like watching funny videos about bunnies in heat or sexy donkeys in space? No? Well, how about taking selfies or telling your friends what you're eating right now? Look: a pickle! A pickle? Show me that picture! Show me that picture! No? Are you sure? No selfies? Get outa here! I don't believe you. Not even for a split second. You know life is short, so admire your face while it's still there. (Ouch.)

In case you're wondering what I've been doing. Here's what:
Now, that's what I call a moan-free soundproofing system.

Spared no expense. Good thing money doesn't make us happy, right?

Should we ever meet in jail (knock on wood), you may refer to me as The Hammer From The Slammer. I would be in jail for squeezing my neighbor's balls. I don't know about you.

Meanwhile Mongo the mini-panther wannabee and Batman impersonator slash embodiment of laziness would continue looking after my um.... his favorite couch and, who knows, maybe even move. No, not to another place. I mean MOVE, like moving your muscles. He can do it.

Well, if he looks like me, he can.


* * *

86 comments:

  1. Wait, they were building into your wardrobe too? How will they return the doors there? I wanna see the end result when they're done with painting too :)

    Mongo Ming, the intergalactic padishah, really has big ears.... strange how he doesn't hear my penguins spying around..... must be the sedatives in the sardines...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have you ever tried making him a nice little black cape.... you know like a true Batcat?

      Delete
    2. Of course. And I gave him a batrope and threw him outa the window geh geh. MEOW!

      Delete
    3. Okay, so maybe I didn't throw him out of the window. Maybe.

      Delete
    4. I'm sure he got on his feet even if you did! Or fell on somebody's head?

      Delete
  2. Candy gram from Mongo!
    You were serious about the soundproofing.
    Actually, if you're off sailing with Pat and Truedessa, Mongo would come in handy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Candy gram! Yes, I was dead serious.Am too about the ball-squeezing scenario. Sailing off with Truedessa..... and Pat? Well, if he insists haha

      Delete
    2. Well, I am all packed, but no one picked me up to go to Bora..sighing..so here I am in yet another snowstorm...
      oh to dream of that faraway bay where the sun shines all day...
      now, I am slipping into another shade of blue, thinking of you...

      Delete
    3. No one? I knew it! That cat went there all by himself! Another snowstorm... say it ain't so. Another shade of blue... as in happy blue? No?

      Delete
    4. The cat is rude, oh well. Fine to raise a little hell

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    5. So... what is Bora like?
      Is it a place where we can take a hike
      Or ride our bike

      Delete
    6. Can do what you like with ease
      It's giant little box is a breeze

      Delete
    7. Damn. What am I still doing here.

      Delete
  3. What? I'm on Bora and I didn't know it. Damn, it is cheap and I don't like it one bit. That will sure keep the humpers out and you won't hear them shout. Mongo knows how to enjoy life with none to little strife.

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    1. Yes, or so I heard. And you didn't even know it. Which is why you never bothered to invite me.... I get it. How convenient.

      Mongo is one lucky son of a gun.

      Delete
    2. Hmmm Bora has snow? I think your map skills are kinda off after all tat building at your show

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    3. Pat went to Bora without me..pfft..I knew it..haha
      sailing that ship of dreams as the winds scream...
      You forgot Truedessa, go back an get her...

      Delete
    4. There's snow wherever I go
      How come you didn't know?
      Numero uno at your show

      Delete
    5. Pat saved up a buck
      Finally had a bit of luck
      Forgot about you
      And my kangaroo shoe
      Kinda rude, too

      Delete
    6. So, he went to Bora without us
      this is something we must discuss
      good thing I don't cuss
      or I'd make a big fuss...

      Oh, Mongo is quite the cat
      nice place you got there..

      Delete
    7. That about sums it up
      This calls for a cup
      Of Bourbon in my book
      Slightly depressed staring at a nook
      No Bora for us - that can't be right
      The Cat having fun day and night
      What are we to do, us two?
      Yes, Mongo's quite a feline Scooby Doo

      Thanks :)

      Delete
    8. Pffft the cat went with Pat
      All others can scat
      He is owned by me
      No sharing you see
      Have to find your own way
      As at Bora Bora we stay

      Delete
    9. See now I'm all depressed and down
      Feeling a bit like a DIY clown
      Check out my new frown
      A bit of HARRR put in the mix too
      Now, where is my Bora shoe?

      Delete
    10. A clown who is hump free
      At least you can now snore with glee

      Delete
    11. The cat went and told us to scat
      he took off with his friend Pat
      Oh me, oh my what are we to do
      the cat has made me sad and blue
      pour me some bourbon fill the cup
      that will surely cheer us up..haha

      Delete
  4. I shall attempt to respond to your post with the same magnanimous attitude, with which you have presented it to me. Of course you believe that and thus blindly read on, hoping inwardly that if you do, she'll be done for the week!(I know.) I shall try to stay in order of receipts.
    ~ firm n' shiny ass - citation needed!
    ~ what do you call this object? Mongo stealing your blanket.
    ~ Sleeping Bluety - gosh, I love that couch.
    ~ watching funny videos about bunnies in heat or sexy donkeys in space? (shh)
    ~ Now, that's what I call a moan-free soundproofing system. (No darling - moan free is sex free) No?
    ~ If you can be...The Hammer From The Slammer... I'll be the dcrelief from the grief!(kiss-kiss)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now that's what I call a comment. I need to read it a second time. It's that good. Moan free is sex free? Why won't they just put a sock in it, whatever "it" means. Citation needed? Ha! Are you telling me most people don't spend their nights watching videos about bunnies in heat or sexy donkeys in space? How odd.

      Aha... dcrelief from the grief! Well, it's got this special ring to it.

      Delete
    2. There's no topping your hopping!

      Delete
  5. That cat deserves to be waited on hand and foot. Quit yer bitchin'.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hand AND foot? Well, if you say so. Will do, Janie. Will do. And when I die, I will return as a blue cat who happens to be knocking on your door. MEOW! (=Can I come and live at Case de Janie?)

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. You know what they say: pets resemble their human friend. No?

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  7. cute cat, I've always been a dog person but I miss my fiancee's old cat. Her parents are looking to get a new kitten but they have been very lazy about it. Daisy is a little excited to see a new cat in the house.

    I don't see why, all I remember her doing to her cat was yelling at it for being in her room and refusing to leave.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A dog person... I knew it. Well, Mongo is a dog in disguise, really. He can fetch a stick and roll over too.

      So Daisy is a cat person and you're a dog person...

      Delete
  8. The build is looking pretty darn good. Way to go, my friend.

    Don't compare yourself to Mongo! You don't want to be a cat, anyway. Oh sure, they can be cute, but all that cuteness is just hiding a black, tar-like core of pure evil. That's why the cat's snoring has gotten so bad. His laziness has prevented him from fulfilling his true purpose as a demonic minion. Now that black soul of his has clogged up his respiratory system, and he can't contain it for much longer. If he starts coughing violently, it's because his soul is trying to leave his body, abandoning him for a more active vessel. But until it finds a new host, it will wreak pure havoc and pain upon your house. You might want to get ahead of the game and hire an exorcist now, before the evilness becomes too impatient.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ms Bollywood Princess agrees. She swears he is pure evil and that's I'm blind to his evil deeds. Maybe it takes one to no one haha or so I tell Angie. She disgrees. I think he's the sweetest cat that ever lived, but I may be biased.

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    2. You are definitely biased. Look at those eyes! He clearly wishes to do you harm, and is just awaiting his opportunity. I'd watch my back, if I were you.

      Delete
    3. Maybe he puta kitty spell on me. Could be, right?

      Delete
  9. Mongo's cute! The writing is excellent. And the renovation looks like it coming along swimmingly!

    You always make me laugh Blue!! Thanks for sharing:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Phil. Good to hear from you again. I hope you're doing fine.

      Delete
  10. Mongo a couch potato
    Snoring away his life
    Should move even so
    With reason to sacrifice!

    Space to its master's devotion
    Who has lots of knockings to do
    Fine works on renovation
    Living to his reputation as Blue!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who's the man? Hank the Poetry Tank!
      Mongo's snoring away, no money in the bank
      My home's like a five-satr hotel
      all does is ring the bell:
      More food and some water too
      Meanwhile I'm still looking for my kangaroo shoe

      Delete
  11. This may be the cutest kitty post ever!!! You certainly gave pat a run for his money. Lol so you put sound proofing to contain the sound of Mongos snores??? Thats love, blue!!

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    Replies
    1. That would be 2 foot kitty cat haha To contain his snores.... o darn... that had never even occurred to me.

      Delete
  12. Did I complain, or was that you imagining a complaint? I'm not much the complaining type. And you will get no selfies from me. Those are reserved for me. That's the level of my narcissism, so in love with myself that I don't even want to share my photos of myself because they are only for me to gaze upon.
    Your home improvement skills are laudable (that was a "d" not a "gh").
    Is this what your blog will turn into, a series of cute kitty posts? I'm not opposed to it, I just want to know what I'm getting into. I've gotten used to the existential crisis and would have to make a mental shift.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When it comes to imagining complaints, I'm your man. Here's one: "No pickdelicious selfie to cling to... I hate my life." Yes? Okay. My home improvement skills'- GRUNT GRUNT GRUNT - are laughable. I get it. Oh you were seriously complimenting me today? I'm so not used to being complimented on any of my skills. (That's a complaint.) As for your fear of my blog turning into Kitty Cat Heaven, I'm shocked you were unable to read between the lines. Clearly you should've noticed the many existentialist questions I'm asking while describing Mongo's utter disregard for (1) my home improvement skills, which are laudable (I'm quoting) and (2) my pain and agony, not to mention my jealousy. No? In short, forget about that mental shift. I'm dying here.

      Delete
  13. Mongo looks like a (much) slimmer version of Mandrake. Why do the get to bask in the life of luxury without doing shit? Because they're cats, that's why.

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    Replies
    1. Slim? Mongo? That's a 20-pound cat were talking. But I'm pretty sure he'd appreciate the compliment. He's asleep on my couch.... the only thing I own in this house... It's so depressing.

      Delete
  14. Well shucks, Pardner, the Carhartts and tool belt transformed the Blue one into the frenzified fiend of soundproofing. But kidding aside, a mighty fine job. I lust after soundproofing for my garage. I may get kicked out of the neighborhood but not for the same problemmo going on in your neighborhood. Yee Haw. It is to be a studio of "fine dance." (Whatever the heck that means). We'll see.

    WOW, a cat with muscles. Makes my cat look like the award-winning wimp.
    Love the cartoon-one of the Blue Man on the couch.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fine dance... Where do I sign up? Do we get to show our impressive fine moves on youtube you reckon?

      Yep he's got more muscles than brains. He"s truly a mini panther.

      Delete
  15. I think I need that level of soundproofing so people won't hear me scream when my cat climbs me. Yours lays on your stomach and naps, but mine? Mine runs around like a bat out of hell and tries to climb me like I'm a tree. Yesterday she made it to the middle of my shoulders, and it was NOT pretty on the way down.

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    Replies
    1. Ouch. But I didn't tell you about his sister. She does the exact same thing. Spooky.

      Delete
  16. Mongo is beautiful.

    My little Professor was a wee bit sick this morning. His first illness. Vomiting. I stayed with him a moment and laid my hand on his back. Apparently, he is a wee bit grumpy when ill. As he tried to bite my hand. He has an annual and a groom on Thursday but will take him in sooner if he does not get better by this evening. It might just be a tummy upset.

    Sound proof walls. Marvelous idea.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There you are. Tell me about your house!

      I hope my furry friend is feeling better now. I hate it when they are in pain or sick. He tried to bite your hand? O my. I do the same thing when I'm grumpy.

      They are sound proof alright. He can go humpin' n' jumpin' to his (beep)'s content.

      Delete
    2. Professor is well.

      He is going to vet tomorrow for an annual visit plus a groom which entails him being put to sleep. Totally to sleep. He has to be soft muzzled to get the shot. It is quite an ordeal for the little fella. And, of course, I am "worried" about him being put under but there is no way around it.

      The house is on hold for right now. I have the floorplan done officially. I guess it is called a blueprint. But, I cannot build it downtown and that is where the problem lies. I love living downtown as it is near both jobs and as well, I am very involved in attending events downtown. So I am currently sitting waiting for a studio to open up in a downtown place I have liked for over five years. However, still thinking it through.

      I think a lot of things through nowadays before reacting.

      Soundproofing. It will help u get some much needed sleep. A very very very good idea.

      Thankfully, I have two very quiet neighbors.

      Delete
  17. I had a black one eyed cat as a kid. her name was Blackberry. I was under the illusion I would one day marry her...she had other plans and ran off with a calico named Mittens....

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    Replies
    1. some stories should probably not be shared with the public, Dave :PPP

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    2. I'm an open book,it might be a strange tail, but an open book nonetheless...;-)

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    3. Really, David? Blackberry huh? Like a cat from the future without the keyboard, of course. Blackberry. No kidding. And she ran off with another cat, too? How jazzy of her.

      Hi Dezz. I happen to like his stories. The tail, too. (No, not that tail, you naughty you.)

      Delete
  18. Mongo looks like he knows his priorities. I envy him. Donkey's in space? Man, I need to start subscribing to your channels, because mine are boring in comparison.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, you've seen the pics. I guess my place is his Bora. I envy him, too. Donkey's in space... They can be really entertaining.

      Delete
  19. Renovating is not watching funny videos... clearly you have been slacking off! Sheesh, do i need to remind you that watching funny videos is important? Crucial, even?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You got me there, Lynda. I have this lazy streak, you know. (You know.)

      Delete
  20. OMG, Mongo is beautiful! And what exactly are you making there, er, Hammer? :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. he says it's a soundproofing wall, but I suspect he drilled holes behind it to spy on what makes the naughty sounds behind it.....

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    2. Beautiful? It took me three days to photoshop his ugly face. You betcha. As for the soundproofing... I got a tad fed up with my neighbor's special brand of noises.

      A hole, Dezz? Taking about holes again?

      Delete
  21. Aw, I love Mongo! He's a gorgeous kitty. I laugh about the snoring part, because my big male cat is a huge snorer, too! So much that if I'm talking on the phone, people on the other line can hear him, ha ha :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gorgeous? You think? Well, don't I feel neglected all of a sudden....

      Snore snore

      Delete
  22. ahhh yup, guilty of food i ate pics!!! I'm liking Mongo the couch guarding panther wanna be :-) Nice hammer work!!

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  23. Mongo is such a beauty! I haven't been making the blog rounds like I normally do this past week. I don't see it getting better any time soon either. We are actually in the middle of a home renovation ourselves, but thankfully it doesn't involve squeezing my neighbor's balls.

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    1. A beauty? You mean I photoshopped his ugly face! (No?) Lucky you... no ball squeezing required. What's your secret?

      Delete
  24. I believe that I was meant to be a housecat, but wound up as a human with bills to pay by accident. Cursed fate! Good job on the soundproofing. It's like they say - "Muffled sounds from next door are golden!"

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