MENTAL NOTE

"Though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run."
Blue, resist the urge to use facebook. You can do it. Good luck.
Cats and dogs can be friends. So can cowboys and indians. So can we.
Why try to be the best when there's no hierarchy in heaven?

Sunday, October 26, 2014

If You Were . . . a Car

HONK! HONK!


If you were a car, what kind of car would you be?
Would you be a Cadillac, your wings all pink n' pretty
Like Molly, remember, when she was having fun
Or would you be the perfect car to steal when we're on the run?
There you are — as super-duper-stretched as they come,
a home on the road for them party girls and then some:
"Hello limousine! Now, what'cha got cookin'?
We all can tell that you're mighty good-looking!"
Would that be you, out of everybody's league,
Or would you be like me — a set of wheels called Fatigue?
Would you be a Batmobile, a Catmobile, a Funky Monkey Ratmobile
"Hi, Mary, check this out, a ratty greased lightning made out of stainless steel!"
And would you have a sixth gear or maybe even eight or ten?
Would you be a babe magnet or specialized in men?
Would you like me (¡hola!) and would I like you too?
Would I like you more than my blue suede shoe,
Stepping on it, too, and you know what it means
Would you run on water or maybe soy beans?
Would you protect the President or, you know, just the Pope?
Do we get to tow you with a chunky big rope?
Would you be politically tight—so green some Hulk wants you tonight
Or would you roar and make us tremble and experience delight?
Tell me 'bout your backseat color, your cardelicious style,
Tell me about the way you drive around for only just a while:
A mile here, a mile there . . . I bet you'd be low-maintenance too.
Tell me, what kind of car are you?

* * *

P.S. If I were a car, I wouldn't get very far . . .
I'd be one of those collectibles you keep locked in a jar.



92 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks, Janie. What kinda car would you be?

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    2. The arrest-me-red Nissan Altima that I used to have. Used to because I broke my back in it. I loved that car.

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    3. Well, I sure like the new one, that much I do know. Nissan I so gonna have to pay me some dough for advertising their latest creation.... Anyhooters, shooters and 50-footers.... you broke your back in it?

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  2. Hmmm...well my dream car is a Mini Cooper, but does that mean I would be a Mini Cooper? I guess I could reasonably say so, since they're compact but powerful. And rather adorable. :)

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha that's right! Any particular color you had in mind?

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    2. Hmmm...I'm thinking blue. Not navy blue, not powder or baby blue--something bright, like a cerulean blue. Do they make that?

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    3. Of course they do. Cerulean blue it is. Nowe excuse me while I go and look that on up. Cerulean blue...

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    4. It's fun to say, isn't it? Ce-rrrr-uuuu-lee-annnn...

      Did you find it yet?

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    5. Well done, Sir! Clearly you are very skilled at finding your brothers. Your next assignment, Midnight Blue, Sir Blue. :)

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    6. Can I get the wheels, too? CLICK! If only...

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  3. In particular, the line, "Would you be politically tight—so green some Hulk wants you tonight". Well done with that little turn of phrase.
    If I were a car, I'd be the Batmobile. Why would you want to be any other car? I'm certainly not a Tesla, because "zero emissions" is not something I can claim. Okay, I'm not that exciting. Did Robin have a scooter? I think at best, one of those mod scooters from Quadrophenia.

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    Replies
    1. It's the coolest car in town unless your real name is George.

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  4. Hi Blue...
    If I could be a car?
    Well.....let me see...hmmmm..
    Oh !
    I have it!
    I would be a 2014 Infiniti Q60S....coupe.....silver....
    Oh yeah!
    My boyfriend bought me one on Thursday....pick it up on Wednesday!
    There....how's that, Blue?

    Enjoy your week...
    Cheers!
    Linda :o)

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    Replies
    1. Is the drool apparent? I'm not jealous at all... Hey tjat sure isssss something to look forward to! I'm impressed.

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    2. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being in heaven and zero being dead? Wait... let me rephrase that... I'd say a 5.5.

      And you?

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  5. I'd be mossy green aircar, the first one to fly!

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  6. I'm a Green 1965 Pickup truck; 289 under the hood; three speed on the column; cd with Miranda Lambert on deck! But a car... maybe a 1972 white Cougar 442- zoom, zoom, zoom.

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    Replies
    1. In fact I wrote about this truck... see Monday's post 10-27-14. Automatic.

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    2. You sure did. And remember... No speed shifting!

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    3. Blue, did Dixie just say she'd be a white cougar? Now isn't she a naughty devil!....

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    4. Hard to speed shift in a white mini van, but I can screech some tires in it.
      Did Dezmond call me a naughty devil? Okay, who talked?

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    5. He sure did. Yeah, who talked? Tell us more.

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    6. Uh-oh, naughty poem alert!! I'll get back to you soon. xx

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    7. naughty poem for blue's blog

      She wanted to be green but she was really white
      She wanted to be loved but she was really tight.
      No amount of cream could bring the end result
      of what she truly craved, so she wandered off to sulk.
      Phffft!

      What are you wearing for Halloween Blue?

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    8. Well, now... that's what the English would call a "proper" display of naughtiness! What am I wearing for Halloween... I was thinking of chocking of my blue head, put it on a platter, and knock on some doors. Not sure what you'd call such an outfit. And you?

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    9. MMmm, the headless trickster? I'm going as a hand puppet.

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    10. now that is a poem I'd like to hear recited by Scottish highlanders in the mountains of great Alba :)

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    11. A hand puppet.... dare I ask whose hand would.... oh well, let's talk about Scottish highlanders ;)

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    12. I meant to say Sock puppet - the left sock(before you ask).
      Oh and tell Dezmond, we can arrange for the Scottish highlanders to perform this at any time... no copy-right?

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  7. Who'd want to be a pink car??? Unless you are Mary Kay.
    I'd be a Bugatti. Red or black. Fastest and most expensive sports car in the world. Totally awesome!!!!!!

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    Replies
    1. So what you're saying is... you're high maintenance? And awesome, of course ;)

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  8. I just hope I'm not a 1987 Yugo

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    Replies
    1. Keeping my fingers crossed for you, Adam. 1987... good year, though.

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    2. Yugo doesn't really have a particularly bad year... all were bad :) And yet, it was our beloved national vehicle

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    3. We had two over the years, both had rotten bottoms LOL And it is sad, that even such bad and cheap cars, were expensive for most of the people in my country

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    4. Rotten bottoms... thanks for the mental rape anyway. But um.. (not bottom...) a bad car still outdoes a great bus in my book. No?

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    5. not really, you don't need to pay for bus repairments and medical bills for yugo are such that you can often buy a new one for the same price...

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    6. Angie just came home... upset. "I hate public transport!" Just quoting. It took her one hour and a half to get home. By car it would've taken her 20 minutes.

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  9. Whatever can go fast and gets things done
    And has to answer to none
    I think that would due
    As for color I suppose orange or blue
    Unless a deloreon I could nab
    Then some future lotto numbers I'd grab

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    Replies
    1. 88 miles per hour!
      So fast you don't need a shower
      Let's place some bets in the past
      Buying ourselves some fun to last
      Ten billion will do just fine
      Five yours, five mine
      Great Scott!
      That's a lot!

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    2. Ten billion be great
      As long as Biff wasn't our fate
      Get like that guy
      And the manure will fly

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    3. He hates manure. Let's get him some.... "Clint Eastwood... What kinda stupid name is that?!"

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  10. Yep, finally
    It's me
    It's plain to see
    If I were a car
    Wouldn't go very far
    Being in the UK
    Here's what I say
    Keep trying to drive from the passenger side
    Aint going nowhere for a ride
    Okay, I'd be Model T
    Look at me.

    Yep, I'm Gary :)

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    Replies
    1. Good. Your back!. Are you telling me you'd be Mister T in da place to be? Hi Gary, never scary, just a tad hairy, and always um... flairy!

      Look at you.
      How do you do?
      Meanwhile I'm still looking for my blue suede shoe.

      Hi Gary... I'm Bluebarrie ;)

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  11. Replies
    1. From coast to coast!
      Have some Bora toast!
      Or some roast!

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  12. If I were to be a car
    I would not mind any make
    As long as I could move far
    And with nothing at stake

    But yes, one thing though
    There is an exception in lieu
    If you must know
    It has to be colored blue!

    Hank

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    Replies
    1. Hank is back dressed up as a car!
      A blue one, too, though not one in a jar
      Move far wherever you want to go
      Today is your show!

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  13. What a clever question that you put forth with glee
    A Venero Lamborghini is what I'd like to be
    A firey red color, shining like the sun
    With a soft mauve interior, I'd rest when day is done
    Let crowded sucky airplanes fly into the sky
    A cattle-pack of agony, whoever can deny
    I would go the distance, pedal to the floor
    Try to catch me if you can, you'd never even score

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I, too, have my moments, I suppose
      Hey that's one heck of a car you choose
      Flipping the bird on planes, o dear,
      As you demonstrate your sixth gear!

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  14. This is a tricky one.
    If I were a car, I would be a large family car with all the safety features added.

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    Replies
    1. Better safe than sorry sounds like a plan to me, alright :)

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  15. I'd be just like my Audi - pretty on the outside, completely falling apart on the inside (and most days, barely functioning).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the inadvertant reminder that, unlike you, I'm also falling apart on the outside. ;)

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  16. That was a really fun post!! I would be a lime green Volkeswagon Beetle. With a pink flower in the bud vase, of course.

    You shouldn't be locked in the jar! I will set you free!! :)

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    Replies
    1. Help! Get me outa here! Thanks, Kianwi... um... Kinley. Lime green is an excellent choice! "There she is! Hello, are you blind or what?!" :)

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  17. I would be a 2007 yellow beetle in honor of my love bug...everyone always said that car was me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What, you too?! Kianwi (I mean... Kinley Dane) tells me she would want to be a beetle too. Lime green. Jax, the looooooove bug. Well, it's got a great ring to it, alright.

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  18. A 1936 or 1937 Cord, probably... but I wouldn't mind traveling around as the 1966 (tv) version of the Batmobile.

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    Replies
    1. #Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da-da BATMAAAAAAAAAN! Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da...# Not bad at all! A 1936 Cord.... I have to look that one up. Disappointed?

      Aha! I know THAT one.

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  19. I think I have learned nothing in all of these years, I guess, because I would jump right in and be a Mustang or a 1971 Camaro (with the cute round taillights). Totally impractical, unable to drive in the winter, but still oh, so totally cool. :)

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    Replies
    1. I love those cars! Did you say, "cute"?

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    2. lol those lights are cute, they make the cars look almost animated to me. :)

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  20. Replies
    1. Good. I was kinda worried you'd want to be THIS car....

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  21. I'd like to say some shiny new model, but I'd probably we a big old rust bucket, barely chugging along. Though my sound system would totally kick ass!

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    Replies
    1. methinks you'd be an aubergine coloured porsche!

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    2. She would be shiny and new! And you bet I would be rubberneckin' too. ;) Aubergine colored?

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    3. yep, aubergine is the colour of warm charisma and heart-warming radiance!

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    4. That I didn't know. I thought it was green?

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  22. Something loud and something fast,
    Did you see my fly right past?
    Something shiny, red and pretty -
    perfect for a Riot Kitty!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Was it Superman? What is The Flash? No, it was Riot Kitty! You were so fast I didn't even see you, but I know it was you. How? Well, be cause of the sound: meooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!

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  23. A convertible VW bug.

    Hope u are well.

    Been working on the blueprints for my future home. Have been looking for land these last few weeks. Sat down this weekend with my friend who has been building homes for over 35 years.

    Been learning a lot about human behavior and myself. When one lives with someone whom has been abused over a lifetime, it is an eye opener to how to treat people and how to take very good care of yourself. Also, I have had to learn to bend and react to her differently. Although the abuse had nothing to do with me, it definitely affects me.

    The Professor is very well. And Gizmo aka JacksonBrown came for a weekend visit. I try to get him as much as possible. Oh how I wish I could look into those big brown eyes of his and tell him "I found someone whom want to take u furever and love u."

    Take care my friend.

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    Replies
    1. Your future home... How incredibly exciting, and you're so lucky to have a friend who can lend you a helping hand. None of my friends know how to build homes, that much I do know. I wonder what your home will look like.

      I know someone who was abused as a kid. She carries that load with her 24/7. It's tough.

      I love my furry friends. You know that :)

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    2. I have been designing this extremely small home for over 15 years. Getting it just right for my needs and desires. So many people build way too big and "don't get to live in their home." My home will speak of who I am and will be a place where me and Professor will be able to enjoy the simple things in life.

      I am blessed to have a builder friend with 35 years experience.

      "D" does seem to have a lot of issues. But a calmness has been coming over her too.

      Gizmo aka JacksonBrown has a chance of living with a family of mom/dad and three kids. He deserves to be loved and cared for. Off the streets and safe.

      Cuddling with the Professor is one of my greatest pleasures. At night, when we go to bed he snuggles up close to me. And most of the time he is right beside me. We enjoy walks all day long and he shows me what to truly love about life. What really matters the most. Love and enjoying the simple things in life.

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  24. Interesting. If I were a car I would be - a tank (not really a car but it describes me the best) cuz I just keep rolling along:)) Thanks for sharing:))

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    Replies
    1. I'll be careful not to, you know, get in your way ;)

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  25. Hmm ... methinks I'd be a classic of some sort. Maybe an old Jaguar. A bit rough around the edges, and if you peel back the rust, I should be made of the highest quality. And certainly not the fastest off the rank, I would glide at a leisurely pace to the finish line, where champagne would be waiting. Then again, I hate champagne. Make that a nice glass of red. And a wedge of ripe blue cheese ...

    Oh, and I would be green. British Racing Green.

    As you were.

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    Replies
    1. That's one special car, Wendy. Now all I need to do is save up a bit of dough to go for a spin. British Racing Green... excellent choice.

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  26. A ratmobile? Definitely! I love that idea.

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  27. Vroom Vroom! well clearly something of class,
    that swallows a lot of expensive gas,
    that holds its driver and goes like a dream,
    with curves that roll into "oh la supreme",
    And only the best, in Armani suits
    Could step on my pedals in and honk on my toots,
    Know what I am yet? since this is a rhyme...
    I'm an Aston Martin, DB9

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    Replies
    1. Oh la supreme! An Aston Martin DB9...
      Where's the wine? Where's the wine?
      Driving around you makes me look so mighty fine.

      Of course you're something of class, Jules!

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